I started eating meat again

After almost 5 years of vegetarianism, I decided to give it up.

I heavily debated writing this post. I fear both sides of the coin.

Those who are vegetarian or vegan might be angry reading the title or feel betrayed. They might have a knee-jerk reaction that I’m hurting the cause in giving up on my vegetarian ways and sharing it with the world.

And also those who have never been vegetarian or vegan and can’t imagine why someone would stop eating meat. I fear comments like, “Oh you finally came to your senses and came back to what’s good.”

But there is a third side. Those who have debated going vegetarian or vegan but just can’t make the switch because of their lifestyle, where they live, their finances, or health issues. And those who had been vegetarian or vegan but gave it up.

I’m also writing this for myself because I think there’s freedom in honesty.

So if you had a knee-jerk reaction to this title, I hope you stick with me and hear me out.

I was vegetarian for almost 5 years

It was a time filled with colorful meals and great food adventures.

I decided to stop eating meat kind of on a whim. I mean, it wasn’t completely out of nowhere but the actual decision was pretty spontaneous.

I had been reading about the greenhouse gases that come with producing meat and how eating meat increases our personal carbon footprints and I wanted to stop contributing to that.

I’ve also had weird texture issues with meat for my entire life. I can still picture and feel the gross bits of meat I’ve eaten in my life. They make me shiver and want to throw up, honestly.

And I’m by no means a picky eater! But texture is so important to me when it comes to food and these off bites would ruin an entire meal.

I remember one week we had leftover pulled pork in the fridge and I just couldn’t get myself to eat it. So I decided to quit then and there after a few weeks of the idea rolling around in my head.

My gut said do it so I went with it.

I regret nothing about this time. In fact, I’m thankful for it.

Cutting meat out of my diet is one of the best things I’ve ever done. Which might make me going back to eating meat sound weird, but hear me out.

When I first cut out meat, I had more energy. I was more awake. I was happier. I felt more alive.

And I don’t know for sure what contributed to this. Maybe I was more conscious of what I was eating because I wanted to make sure I got enough protein and iron and therefore I was eating healthier.

Maybe it was a new challenge in my life that gave me a hobby and a purpose that I hadn’t had before.

I’m not sure. But it didn’t last forever.

Not that I became sluggish or anything. I returned to what was my normal.

Mainly, I’m so thankful for going vegetarian because, in this 5 year time, I experimented with so many foods.

I learned how to better cook and season vegetables. I learned what plant-based foods were packed with protein and how to cook those. I was introduced to tofu and tempeh and really, really love them.

I even got a few friends to give up meat for certain meals or for certain days of the week. Not by pushing! They saw what I was doing and felt inspired to try, too.

They also got more adventurous in their foods because I made group dinners a smidgen more difficult. But they were accommodating and nice about it!

Even my brother went vegetarian not long after I did.

I had a ripple effect of goodness. And I was very proud of it.

But that made this decision incredibly difficult.

I still feel like I’m betraying all the people I converted and the vegetarian community

Like I’m pushing them into the fire and watching them burn…

I’m not sure why I feel so guilty of this, it’s not like I ever pressured anyone to give up meat. I was just a reminder of the concept in their lives.

My husband still ate meat for the entirety of my vegetarianism. Granted, he ate a lot less meat, but he still ate it.

And I didn’t care. People could eat whatever they wanted in front of me. I never made a fuss about it.

And yet I still feel like I’m betraying people.

The best reason I can come up with is because the vegetarian and vegan communities are often the butt of the joke in media.

Pop culture has made the community look like barefoot hippies who can’t get a job. Or over-the-top aggressive people who shout “meat is murder!” at restaurant chefs. Or that they’re malnourished and annoying and should just stop shoving their lifestyles down people’s throats.

I feel like I’m helping that side by giving it up. But it’s not my sole responsibility to prove all of those stereotypes wrong.

Which, just for the record, that last one of vegans and vegetarians shoving their lifestyles down people’s throats is so far from the truth. At least with what I’ve witnessed. Often we just want to know if there will be food for us so we know if we should bring something or eat beforehand.

Meat eaters are the more obnoxious ones around vegetarians and vegans, in my experience. And it’s not everyone but I heard a lot of:

• “Oh doesn’t that steak look so good? …I guess maybe not to you.”

• “I could never give up bacon.”

• “No I don’t want to try your beyond burger, it smells like plants, can’t possibly compare to real meat.”

It’s incredibly annoying.

The other annoying thing that I endured was people questioning my choices.

If someone refuses food because they’re on a diet to lose weight or it’s a new fad (looking at you, keto), no one questions them or gets offended. Often, they’re interested and want to know more.

But when it comes to cutting out meat, people become obtuse. I don’t know if they feel like their morals are being questioned or what, but it’s insanely annoying.

Wow this took a turn, I guess I had a lot of feels. Vent over.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I feel like I’m betraying the community because I’m leaving everyone to deal with all of this with one less person in their numbers.

Like I’m giving validity to these comments I heard for years. Like in fact that steak did just look too good and I couldn’t control myself anymore.

Like it’s not actually sustainable to be a vegetarian. Which is a lie, it works for so many people, and it worked for me for awhile.

Like meat is this end all be all goodness that we can’t live without.

But I shouldn’t feel guilty. I couldn’t change many people’s minds over the years I was vegetarian, and those minds I did change won’t all of a sudden go back because I started eating meat again.

At least, I don’t think I’m that powerful.

And I’m still in their corner! I think a vegetarian or vegan diet can be great for a lot of people. It just wasn’t working for me anymore and that’s okay.

Which brings me to…

Why did I decide to start eating meat again?

I forgot how good cheese on a meat burger can be…thanks Culver’s.

There’s a lot of reasons why I made the decision. And overall, the decision to start eating meat again was very similar to when I decided to stop.

It maybe seemed a little out of the blue but I had been marinating on it for a little while.

In no particular order, these were my reasons:

I didn’t want to miss out on experiences.

When we were in Tofino, BC, we were staying in a resort right on the Pacific Ocean. I so desperately wanted the experience of eating fish and chips while being in that ocean air.

I thought I was just going to steal a bite of my husband’s fish but after that taste, I wanted a whole thing to myself.

So the next day, I ordered some.

And it was delicious! I hadn’t had any fish in that 5 years and this was top tier fish. I regretted nothing.

I’ve been realizing all year that life’s too short to miss out on experiences you want to have. Especially in the name of a self-imposed diet like this. At least, that’s how it is for me, everyone needs to make their own decisions.

I’ve been dealing with tendonitis in my wrist for a year now.

Last September, I started to have pain in my wrist. I’m not sure what caused it but most likely working too much and doing other tech-driven things in my life.

Mice, keyboards, gaming controllers, phones, you name it, all these devices are so bad for our wrists and hands. And overuse of them were a huge part of the cause of tendonitis in my right wrist.

It hadn’t always been bad, the pain would come and go. In late winter/early spring, I went to physical therapy for my wrist and that helped a lot.

I thought I was on the way to recovery. But then I overworked in March and April with getting my course together, I stopped doing my physical therapy exercises every day, and I stopped exercising as regularly and, surprise surprise, the pain came back.

It’s been slowly getting better now that I’m more on top of my routines and have found better ways to work, but I thought eating meat again might help it heal, too.

Our bodies can more easily absorb protein and iron from animal products than from plant-based foods. And not too long ago, my favorite professional disc golfer (I’m so cool, I know), Eagle McMahon, had decided to go back to eating animal products after being vegan for a huge chunk of his life.

He had been battling some injuries and just couldn’t quite get them to heal. So for the sake of his body, he started eating meat again.

Pro disc golfers don’t have the same resources and access to nutritionists like say, NFL players have. I know there’s successful vegan NFL players, and that’s great for them! But without access to nutritionists or fully understanding how food plays a role in healing injuries, it’s hard to do on your own and eating meat is a safer bet for longevity.

Eagle had planted that little seed in my brain. I had been reflecting on his reasons around May/June and I was considering eating meat again to see if it would help my wrist.

I want to get stronger.

On a similar note to the last reason, I really want to get stronger.

I’ve been weak my whole life. Every year growing up, my brother and I would help my parents put in our dock and boat lift at the family cottage.

My mom and I would joke that together, her and I don’t even make up a whole person because we were so weak in comparison to my brother and dad.

Combined, we said we were 7/8 of a person. And, every year, someone would show up as the 7/8 and the other person would barely show up.

I showed up as the 7/8 one year and showed up as basically 0 every other year.

And while it’s fun to joke about and I still find it hilarious, I don’t want to be 0 or even 7/8 of a person when it comes to household or landscaping activities or lifting or moving big things. I want to be strong and capable and helpful.

I’ve been working out more and as part of it, I’ve been lifting weights. And let me tell you, I’m not starting from very high up. It’s a struggle some days to do bicep curls with 5 pound weights.

But I’m keeping with it and making progress! It’s helping my wrists, too.

I don’t want to just have a stronger upper body, either. I want to be able to:

• Bike up hills with groceries on the back.

• Do more yard work and not get tired as quickly.

• Lift and move around furniture in all my furniture redoing projects.

• Feel better overall and be proud of the shape I’m in.

The animal protein in my diet will help me with all of these goals. It also eases a lot of my anxiety and makes me feel like I’m properly taking care of my body.

I’m also drinking protein shakes after my workout, which helps.

I’ve been enjoying my ventures into meat eating again!

I won’t tell you all the things I’ve been trying, but I will say, overall, I’ve had a very positive experience in eating meat again.

There have been some meals where I’ve overdone it and then feel gross and bloated, but it will just take a little time to get the balance down.

And I’m not going back into where my meat eating was before, I’m limiting myself to once a week (or well, kind of twice because we’ll make a dinner and then have leftovers the next night, so two meals per week).

This balance works really well for me!

Right now, I’m craving meat a little bit more because I’m kind of like a kid in a candy store. I haven’t had any meat for so long so I get to rediscover what I love and don’t like as much.

My favorite meat eating experience in the last month has been when we went to Buffalo Wild Wings. I know, so fancy and extraordinary.

I absolutely love chicken wings. Eating chicken off the bone in any capacity is so fun and it doesn’t gross me out. I think it gives me some sort of feeling of control that I can know what I’m eating. It’s not all mixed up and made into a nugget or something.

Buffalo Wild Wings was the place I missed most during those 5 years. Wings of any kind are so annoying to make at home. I had made some cauliflower and mushroom wings during my vegetarianism times and while they were good, they were still a pain to make.

Plus, I love all the sauce varieties! And that can be expensive to do at home.

So I was thrilled when we went! My husband and I split 20 wings with 4 sauce varieties and I have 0 regrets. It was tasty if unhealthy and I’m excited to go back one day in a few months.

Overall, I’m so happy with both my decision to go vegetarian back in 2018 and with my decision to eat meat again.

I still make tofu for myself. I still eat vegan and veggie meals.

I won’t go back to having meat for certain foods like tacos and burritos. Those will forever be filled with beans for protein because beans are a top tier food in every way.

Vegetarianism was a good adventure for me and I will always be thankful I made that decision.

But going forward, I will be eating a plant-forward diet. That term was brought to me by my friend, Michelle of Minty Made, and it’s the perfect way to describe my eating habits now.

And who knows, maybe in the future I’ll change my mind. But for now, I know in my gut, this is the right decision for me.

Thanks so much for venturing into the Blue Raspberry Patch with me! I love exploring all these sustainability and design topics in longer form and sharing little berries of info with you all. I’d be delighted if you’d join me here!