My business is not my passion...and that's okay!
It might seem taboo but I don't think it should be.
I’ve had an odd and eventful summer, to say the least. I started it burnt out over creating the Green Web Design Course. I had a lot of fun plans and travel scheduled - which were all amazing! But then I was sick for a month (as I’ve mentioned before).
And I’m still finding myself a little burnt out and tired. I initially planned some time for rest after my course and after my travels but, because of life, I wasn’t able to actually rest. So I’m still finding my way back to balance.
Which makes this topic the perfect post for this week!
It’s something I’ve been thinking about all year and even though it feels kinda odd to be saying it out loud, and this idea might feel unthinkable in the world of solopreneurs and business owners, I want to talk about it.
So many of us start businesses in areas that we are incredibly passionate about. Whether it be design, copywriting, marketing, or anything else. To some degree, we strike out on our own because we love the field and want to do it our own way.
And we pour hours and hours of blood, sweat, and (literal) tears into making our businesses amazing.
From client work to managing our own businesses to dreaming up new ideas to networking with other likeminded entrepreneurs, there’s a lot to get caught up in.
And this can be great!
At least for awhile.
Until it leads to burnout.
I’ve burnt myself out on my business multiple times.
The most major time I burnt myself out (outside of my course creation) was in May 2022. I had a schedule full of dream clients and projects and I was making my goal money for the quarter.
I thought I’d be so happy. I hit where I’d wanted to be for so long. But I was miserable.
Why wasn’t I happy?
Why was I overwhelmed and stressed and crying all the time?
Shouldn’t I have been celebrating and excited and filled with life and joy?
Unfortunately life and biz aren’t all that simple.
It was around this time I decided to go back to therapy. I had been out of therapy for about a year and a half and had been doing okay for the most part. But life happens and changes and I needed a little more support.
I wanted to manage my depression and anxiety better. And in talking through that, my therapist and I landed on my most major goal actually being:
I want to cultivate a better work/life balance.
And now, a year and a half later, I can confidently say that I have a much better balance. It’s not perfect, but it’s a huge step above where I used to be. And it’s sustainable for where I’m at.
At least when I’m not burnt out from being sick 😅
To get there, I did a lot of reflection, journaling, introspection, and a ton of work. But there was one major mindset shift I slowly made that had a huge impact. And it feels weird to say it out loud to you all but, here it goes:
I started viewing my business as “work” instead of as my “baby”
Yep. My business is as simple as work to me now. At least most of the time.
I’m still incredibly proud of everything I’ve built and am so grateful for all of the amazing people I’ve worked with and continue to work with. But it’s not the thing that fulfills me anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I still get excited about design and education, but it’s not the only thing I’m excited about. Plus, doing the more “boring” parts in my biz doesn’t drain the life from me as much anymore.
When I started my business, I would put a lot of hours into it. If I was bored on the weekend, I’d spend it dreaming up a new website or thinking about new offerings or sketching client designs.
I didn’t have boundaries. My biz bled into every aspect of my life.
I loved it and was passionate about it so I thought how could I ever burn myself out?
But when you mix financial pressure with passion, it leads to a lot of negatives.
I would feel guilty for not spending time on my business because I thought the more time I spent on it the more money I’d make.
Which is entirely false.
There is some correlation but there’s a point where it stops being true.
I would ignore true passion projects that would have brought joy to my life in favor of working on my business.
Or, I’d do the passion projects, but spend the entire time trying to figure out how to turn them into content to reach more people for my business.
Everything kept coming back to the question of: “How do I make this a part of Blue Raspberry?”
But not everything had to link back to my business. I didn’t have to post everything on social media. I could create and only share with my friends and family.
Slowly, I was learning that the mindset shift wasn’t enough on its own. I had to put the idea into practice.
I started picking up hobbies I loved with no intentions to monetize
That headline makes it sounds so easy but it wasn’t as simple as that.
I forgot what hobbies I used to love and skills I aspired to have. I had to get comfortable starting back at square one. I had to force myself to pick up things that were supposed to be fun when I didn’t feel like it to retrain myself as to what “normal” could be like.
I had to get over that hump.
It was a lot of work but I’m so happy I did it and continue to do it. I still have to push myself some days to do fun things. But now it only takes me 5 minutes to remember, “Oh yeah, I really enjoy this.”
And I had to train myself to not feel guilty about indulging in my hobbies instead of work.
Together, those two practices became the biggest help in breaking my business blackhole cycle.
And I didn’t come to this conclusion all on my own. My therapist helped to guide me down this path. She encouraged me to do small things to start getting to the life I wanted.
I’d wanted to thrift a comfy reading chair for months but never made the time for it. Once she told me to do it, it took me less than a week to go out and get a comfy, super ugly chair that I absolutely adore.
I started reading again in my new chair.
She encouraged me to try other things.
Soon enough, I was biking to places I’d normally drive. I was living more slowly.
I cleaned areas of the house to make them into my own.
I hung art up on my walls to make my office feel like home.
I started closing my office door and setting office hours that I’d only break every once in awhile instead of daily.
I picked up the guitar I had bought in high school and started learning again.
I started drawing and painting again.
I started writing. And singing. And dancing.
I started all of the things I put down throughout my life because I wasn’t “good enough” at them to make a career out of them. I used to think if they weren’t making me money, they were worthless.
But that’s not the case at all. It’s honestly an incredibly fucked up view to have but I know I’m not the only one that’s struggled with it.
Why are we as literal children thinking things like, “I should stop trying to learn guitar or draw because I’ll never make a career out of it.”
And then when we’re adults with free time, we feel like it’s too late to learn something new and wish we’d stuck with it as a kid.
But we can learn new things as adults. And hobbies are so important to a well balanced life. They’re important for our happiness.
And because I was less stressed and a lot happier…
I started to create better work
I was giving my design creativity ample time to rest. The well wasn’t running dry as quickly.
In fact, it was being replenished in new ways.
I didn’t resent work as much because it was only part of my life, not the entirety of it.
And it might feel less tantalizing to want to work with someone who only views their business as “work.” It might be easy to jump to the conclusion that they might not work as hard or do as well.
But it truly is the exact opposite.
When I work, I work very intentionally. I know what I need to get done and I’m less worried about if I spent enough time working in the day. I judge my days by the tasks I checked off and if I’m on track to meet deadlines.
In tandem with this, I give myself space and time when I need it. I don’t feel guilty for resting more in a day if my brain is truly melted.
And while right now, in this moment, I’m still a little burnt out and not quite back to “I enjoy what I do” levels, I know I’ll get back there in a way that can work for me using these tools I’ve cultivated over the last year.
Slow and steady brings the balance back to life.
Enough about me and my life, how is everything going with you?
How are you feeling about your biz these days? Anything that you’ve found helps you to stay balanced?
I’d love to hear from you!
Thanks so much for venturing into the Blue Raspberry Patch with me! I love exploring all these sustainability and design topics in longer form and sharing little berries of info with you all. I’d be delighted if you’d join me here!
I've been struggling with work life balance as well. Thankfully I've been burned out enough on different things to know how to handle it; continuing your hobbies is so important. This year I started a garden. Fighting the urge to hurry up and finish weeding so I can get back to staring at my screen is difficult sometimes, but absolutely necessary. My partner sometimes asks me why I comment that I don't feel like I have enough time to do everything, but then spend hours at a time in the garden some days. I tell him that it's because it's necessary for my mental health, and if I didn't do it, I wouldn't be using the time efficiently to work, anyway. Like you said, it fills the creative cup. I suppose it's not that I don't have enough time to do everything, I don't have enough bandwidth to do it all as quickly as I would like. Oh if only we could all just be 100% all the time! What a luxury that would be. :)
Amy, this email hit me right in the…
Thank you so much for sharing, I relate SO HARD. I think this is an extremely important topic to talk about, really well communicated, too.
I’m so happy you’ve found your balance!
Krissie xxx